Title: Alone
Author: LondonRain (Kristen)
Summary: This is Katie's perspective of leaving Simon in Gone.
Rating: PG.
Author's Note: Many of you wanted more [after "Gone"] so I decided to go into what Katie is thinking and feeling about leaving Simon behind.
I
I sit on the plane and look out the window. Bye bye Oakdale, bye bye Simon. As I see the world below growing smaller and smaller my heart sinks. This feels so wrong and I don't know why, this is supposed to be the right thing to do. I know Simon chose Lily over me for like the billionth time, but some part of me holds on to the good memories of Malta. Like being in that cell, even though I was scared out of my mind Simon somehow made it ok, like he always does. We were in constant danger, but I knew I'd be ok because he was there. He always makes me feel safe.
Simon and I were just getting close and I made the mistake of getting my hopes up. Everytime I do that I'm always in for a big disappointment, I mean god forbid anything good happen to me. I've accepted the fact that I'm destined to be alone. Maybe it's just that I have bad taste in men? Hmmm maybe I shouldn't go for guys whose hearts already belong to someone else. First there was Eddie, oh so cute, but a las he was in love with Georgia. Looking back now, I see how right they were for each other, I miss them. Mental note drop Georgia and Eddie a line and see how they are doing. Back to my horrible taste in men. Then there was Holden, oh Holden, gorgeous, but MARRIED!!! That should've sent warning bells, but NO, I was a girl with a crush and nothing was gonna stop me. He deserved better than what Lily was giving him, he's a great guy. Not that I was better and not like I ever stood a chance, I was so young. Lastly there's Simon, dear, sweet, stubbern, handsome, Simon. Well obviously we weren't to be or he'd be here with me instead of running to Lily everytime she so much as breaks a nail. What does she have that I don't? Why do I always come in second? Is it too much to ask that a guy will love me and put me first for a change? I guess so.
I wish that the airport would've let me carry Snickers on board rather than putting him with the rest of the animals. I could use a little love right now. Why can't men be like rabbits? Cute and always ready to cuddle? Silent and always willing to listen without judgeing or lecturing? Yes if Simon were more like Snickers everything would be great, perfect even. But alas men are not like rabbits and Simon is well, Simon. Why can't I stop thinking about him. It's over, Katie, over he doen'st want you and never did. The sooner I accept that fact the sooner I can move on with my life. Why does love have to be so damn complicated?
I left him a note, which I wrestled with myself to actually leave it. Like he'd even notice if I was gone, well maybe after it got too quiet. So I slipped the note under his pillow as a compromise with myself. The part of me that wants him to miss me and know I'm Ok wrote the note and hoped he'd find it while the part that say's he doesn't care and I shouldn't either hid the note praying he wouldn't.
All the way to the airport I couldn't help but think he'd be there to bring me back. Even as I was boarding I looked for him to come and stop me, but of course he wasn't there. I even still half think he'll find someway to turn the plane around or he'll be there when I finally reach my destination. If I was Lily he'd move heaven and earth to make sure I was back in Oakdale. If I was Lily I wouldn't have had to fight for his affections to begin with. Stop it Katie, don't do this to yourself.
I vow here and now to forget that Simon Frasier ever existed and when I return to Oakdale I'm not going to let him get to me. We will divorce quickly and silently and then I'll never have to hear the name Simon Fraiser ever again. I am a treasure and it's about time I find someone who will treat me as such. So, So long Kathryn Frasier and hello Katerina Peretti.
II
I step off the plane and for a second I contemplate calling him. I don't for the life of me know what I would say so I repress the urge and walk towards the flight attendent at the desk to ask her where would be the best hotel (and the cheapest). Suddenly I heard my name and I turned around hesitantly.
"Katie Peretti Frasier, to what do I owe this pleasure?" I let out an agitated sigh and then put on my best and most gracious smile.
"Henry, what are YOU doing here?"
"Hey, I asked you first. Where's dingo boy, getting the luggage?"
"No, he's probably back in Oakdale by now, not missing me."
"Ah, trouble in paradise?"
"You could say that. So what brings you to Tuscany?"
"Beautiful country isn't it?"
"I wouldn't know considering my plane just landed not 10 minutes ago."
"Well then, let me be your tour guide, but first a drink."
"Alright, but you'll be drinking alone, I'm kinda strapped for cash right now."
"Don't you worry your pretty little head, Uncle Henry will take care of you, he always does."
"I guess, but what are you gonna do, charm them with your witty repertoire?"
"That and my wads of cash."
"Since when do you have 'wads of cash?'"
"Since you and husband left me on that godforsaken island and it just fell from the heavens."
"Money?"
"More like a bird clutching something oh so precious in it's tiny little bird claws." It slowly started to sink in.
"The diamond? You found Simon's diamond? Oh my god this is...this is...congratulations." At first I was really excited until I realized it didn't matter anymore. The whole reason I wanted that thing to begin with was to get Simon, but that wasn't gonna happen now.
"Yes I have the diamond and I'm a rich rich man now."
"Money agrees with you, Henry."
"Why are you being so calm about this, I expected a fight or at least you begging for a cut."
"Money's not what matters to me anymore. You know I think I'm ready for that drink now." Henry put his arm around me and even helped me with my bag as I carried Snickers' cage. There was no way Henry was gonna get his hands on Snicker's or were liable to have rabbit stew for dinner.
"I can't believe you still have that blasted thing. Why make a pet out of food?" We we're in the back of his limo now and I held Snickers close to me petting his soft fur.
"Snickers is my friend and you will treat him as such." I kissed the top of his cute little bunny head and Henry rolled his eyes
"I don't suppose you and your 'friend' have found a place to stay yet have you?"
"Why do you know of somewhere cheap that accepts pets?"
"Actually I do, you will stay with me."
"I'm not sure if that's such a good..."
"Nonsense, you are staying at my house, it's big and there is no way I'm taking no for an answer."
"Why are you being so nice to me?"
"Henry Coleman doesn't forget his friends. Besides, you're hurting right now and I'm a sucker for a damsel in distress."
"Thank you, I could really use a friend right now, well one without whiskers."
"What did the Aussie do this time?"
"Same old, same old only this time I realized it's not going to change."
"The lovely Mrs. Snyder complicating things again?"
"Something like that. Why can't he look at me like he does her?"
"Becuase he's hoplessly in love with you, not her."
"And how would you know."
"In case you've forgotten I'm a guy and I know these things. I'm an observer and I see how much he really cares even if he can't. I bet he's back in Oakdale missing you like crazy. I mean, how could he not."
"I'd like to believe you, but even if he was, it doesn't make any difference, I'm through with him."
"Sure you are, sure you are."
"Seriously, Henry, I am." He nodded and gave me a sad smile.
"I believe you." He said solemnly and I long awkward silence filled the back of the limo. Henry sipped on a martini that he'd made from the limo's bar. He is the only person I know that has be drinking to go out drinking, that's Henry for you. We pulled up to this hip, trendy and no doubt expensive bar and Henry escorted me in. We sat down and he ordered his usual martini with 3 olives and I had the same. It arrived mere moments later, never underestimate what money can do. I'm betting this is Henry's main drinking spot.
"Thank you for the drink." I raised the glass for emphisis before bringing it to my lips for a sip.
"So are you going to tell me about you and Mr. Frasier?"
"It's a long story."
"What about just the absract rather than the full text?"
"Fine, basically I risked my life to try and help Simon and Lily rescue Holden and Luke and somewher along the lines Simon and I grew closer. Then just as things are getting really good between us he once again chooses Lily over me. You see we were about to be departed by Lily's ex, Damian because he didn't want us interfering anymore. Well, rather than sit on the plane with me, Simon rushes off to help Lily."
"And you stayed behind? That's so unlike you."
"Well I'm different now. Simon doesn't have Katerina Peretti to kick around anymore."
"Katerina?"
"Yeah the inspector who deported us, such a nice guy, said that Katerina was my Italian name. I like it, suits the new me doesn't it?"
"Perfectly. Now, why the sudden 'independant Italian' streak?"
"I realized, thanks to the wonderful inspector, that I'm a treasure. Henry stifled a laugh as I shot him a dirty look. "I am a treasure and I deser a man that treats me as susch. I can't continue to chase guys anymore, let them come to me."
"Ah, it's all so clear now."
"What is, I don't follow?"
"You want Simon to come after you don't you?"
"No I didn't even tell him where I was going."
"You left him a note didn't you?"
"I didn't want him wondering where Snickers was."
"Snickers, right, come on Peretti there isn't a little something in you that hopes Simon shows up, a part of you that looks for him wherever you are? Huh?" I took a long pause as he looked smuggly at me knowing he'd read my mind, but I wasn't about to let him know that he had.
"No, no I'm through with Signor Frasier. You know, I wouldn't care if he were to show up right now."
"And what exactly would you do if he did show up."
"I'd tell him that I didn't need him anymore and that it's over and that...and that..."
"You love him and want him back?" He supplie and I couldn't hide my feelings anymore. I put my head in my hands and started to cry.
"Yeah, what is wrong with me?"
"A lot of things, but in this case, nothing. You are a woman in love with your dream guy, unfortunatly your dream guy is too much of an idiot or just plain blind to see what he has and just how special you truly you are." He put a comforting arm around me and let me cry on his shoulder.
"Really you think I'm special?" Henry was saying all the right things and my tears were beginning to subside.
"You're loyal, strong, kind, beautiful, have a mind sharper than a tack, friend to all creature's great and small and have the ability to charm anyone that comes your way. You are just simply amazing Peretti."
"You actually sound sincere. What no Henry wit?"
"Ah, I guess the alcohol is taking it's toll and actually making me grow a heart." I smiled at my friend.
"You know there's no chance for you and I with or without Simon." I laughed and he feigned a hurt look as he joined in my laughter. Henry always had a way of cheering me up in the most desperate of situations. We truly are partners in crime. I'm lucky he was here, almost too lucky. Was this just some strange coincidence? I couldn't think about this now, I was way too exhausted.
"Henry, I'm really tired and I think Snickers is getting lonely, maybe we should leave." I got up and he pushed my shouldars down so I was sitting again.
"Not yet, I need another drink." I was getting the feeling he's stalling.
"Henry." I whined.
"I hear this place has some great musical acts." Henry said as someone was introduced onstage, I guess, I wan't paying too much attention.
"I don't want to hear music right--" I was cut off a fimiliar tune started. I closed my eyes and remembered the first time I heard that played on a guitar in a garage, another lifetime ago. It brought a tear to my eyes and I couldn't bring myself to look onstage afriad of what or more who I would see. The song ended and Henry clapped along with the other patrons. He then leaned over to whisper to me.
"Peretti, I think someone want's to talk to you." He nodded over my shouldar and I reluctantly turned around.
I was met with a gorgeous smile and the most amazing eyes I've ever seen that seemed to stare into my very being. All my reservations melted away as he looked at me. I felt my knees grow week as he reached for my hand. I took it too dazed to resist. I stumbled a bit, my legs not wanting to work. He steadied me against him and I flung myself into his embrace crying agianst his chest. His hands stroked my hair and he placed a tender kiss on the top of my head.
I knew there was still much to be said, but for now I'll just let myself be happy. Now, for the first time in my life, I'm not alone and if I have it my way I never will be again or my name isn't Kathryn "Katerina" Peretti Frasier.
The End
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