Under normal circumstances he’d be living it up with the rest of the house. Yeah, normally, he would be sitting inside downing Fosters and staging a coup in Jackass. But then there was nothing normal about tonight.

Tonight his dream girl, Violet Walsh, had dumped him.

“We’re just too different, Simon,” she said with tears glistening in her eyes, “You deserve somebody who is going to appreciate all your qualities. Good and bad.”

Good and bad? What the monkey’s tit was that supposed to mean? He supposed it wouldn’t smart so much if he hadn’t watched the tearful Violet walk off the porch and down the block where she met a bloke of whom she obviously enjoyed all the qualities, because she slipped an arm around Mr. Wonderful’s waist as they walked away. Fart! He’d never been dumped before! He’d managed to make it all the way through grammar school, prep school, moving to the States and four years of college before getting the ol’ heave-ho. And with the long list of girlfriends he had in his past there had been plenty of opportunities for dismissal. But somehow it had always been he who had done the dismissing.

Guess the nickname of “Mr. Untouchable” had run its course, he thought sarcastically taking a swig of beer. He didn’t even want to think of the flack he’d catch from his fraternity brothers for getting the boot from Violet. Why did he have to talk all that dung about how great she was to everyone?

“She is better than anything you could imagine,” he told Buddy, “This one is different, mate, trust me.” Argh, braggart!

Simon laid his back against the floor of the porch and beat the barrel of his fist against his forehead.

Katie quietly opened the door and stepped out onto the porch. From the moment she’d entered the noisy, crowded house a few hours ago, she couldn’t seem to keep her eyes off of him. She had come to the party looking for a little college fun to liven her boring high school life. Walking through that door she caught her first glimpse of the man of her future.

At the time he was all entwined with some vamping brunette, who obviously didn’t appreciate that she was cuddled up to wet dream material because the vamp glanced at her watch like she was late for a hot date or something. You can’t get any hotter than the guy you’re standing next to, honey, Katie thought. The friends she came with had long since run off, so Katie asked around to get dreamboat’s name. Getting information from loud drunken fraternity guys not as easy as it looked, if it even looked easy. Every time she asked one of those testosterone laden meatheads a question they’d ask her ‘why do you care about Frasier, when you can have me?’ Gross. That’s like asking ‘why do you want juicy tenderloin when you could have stale beef jerky‘.

She had finally gotten the particulars after she’d switched sexes and started interrogating the females. Her guy had a bigger fan club than New Kids on the Block and they all seemed to be at the party. “Oh you mean Sigh” grinned one bubbly blonde. “Sigh? Short for Simon?” “Short for Sigh-Moan,” the blonde said demonstrating the moan.

“Er, thanks,” Katie said insincerely, turning her back as she mouthed Tramp.

“He’s from Australia?’ Katie questioned a redhead.

“Uh huh, came here on some special exchange program.”

“What’s his major?”

“Simon is a jack of all trades but I think he finally settled International Business.”

“Wow you really know a lot about him.”

“He’s my boyfriend’s best friend.”

Ta Da! Katie celebrated . She had just found the one female present that couldn’t possibly have designs on Simon. Twirling a silky, golden strand of hair around her finger Katie said to herself in a saucy Aussie accent “So Simon is from Down Under.”

“Yeah....I wouldn’t mind if he got down under with me,” the redhead said in a dreamy voice. Katie stopped twirling. Nope, another tramp.

She was looking around the room for another informant when she spotted Simon and the brunette making their way out the front. Stopping herself from running after them, she slowly mingled her way over to the door. The big door was a jar and faint traces of a conversation could be heard through the screen door. After glancing around to see if anyone was paying attention to her, Katie sighed dramatically, resting her head against the doorframe, and grimacing like she had a headache. From her strategic position at the door she caught snatches of what was going on on the porch.

Oh my god!! Katie exclaimed to herself, the vamp was dumping him! Poor Simon. Obviously the brunette was blinded by....something. Which means, Katie thought excitedly, the coast is clear. She listened as Simon’s gal pal beat a tearful dramatic exit and then openly watched as Simon and his bruised pride swam in a sea of self-pity. Now standing on the porch, she quietly walked over to where he was laying. His eyes were closed and he looked to be slumbering. She leaned over to get a better look. The shadow must have alerted him to her presence because one eye opened and eyed her warily. “Who are you?”

Katie flashed him her biggest brightest smile. “The girl of your dreams."